Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Endocrinologist Part 3 Shot 2

At 3:50PM, I signed in for my 4PM appointment. At 4:03, I paid my $20 co-pay. The old guy, with a very productive cough, used to watch Lone Ranger and the movie after until they took them off the TeeVee. He hasn't watched TeeVee since. (It's full of those people trying to make us believe that solar energy is cheaper...who's gonna pay for all those batteries they have to store the energy in and where are they gonna store them?)
Shannon dozed a little since she went to work 12 hours earlier in order to be there for the sticking. At 4:40, I'm weighed in and we're taken to room 5. Since I'm diabetic now, they had to take my blood sugar level and the hot assistant tried 7 ancient latex gloves before freaking out and running down the hall to bitch to the office manager or something. My blood sugar level was 158 after having eaten about 2 1/2 hours earlier. (Not bad.)
By 5:10, we had searched most of the drawers and cabinets in room 5 and had discovered that (in room 5 alone) there are at least 3000 ancient latex gloves! Shannon caught her first glimpse of the doctor. At 5:20PM we were moved to room 3 and the doctor peeked in and gave a goofy wave. Shannon decided that this was a "Close Encounter of the Second Kind"; physical evidence. There were no hidden boxes of ancient latex gloves in room 3. The angry yet friendly bigger assistant came in and asked how I've been doing since the first shot (and I have been considerably better, but have a loooong way to go). My triglycerides are way too high, I've been told.
We waited again. Finally, at 5:40PM, "Close Encounter of the Third Kind"; physical contact. I got a prescription for testing strips for the glucometer and talked briefly to the doctor about Shannon learning how to give me my biweekly shot. He and the assistant left to get the assistant who can administer the shots. Not the hot assistant (she left, as did most of the staff). We waited more. A little after 6PM, Shannon finally gave me a shot for the first time, she did not freak out, but was traumatized.

The doctor returned, drew a diagram of an ass, and told Shannon 3 times where not to stick me. Then he showed her on MY ass twice. Then, the "Close Encounter of the Fourth Kind" happened; (the most disturbing), he asked Shannon if she was pregnant. Shannon is NOT pregnant. Oddly, the doctor is still alive.

Now you know more than you should, but have a keen understanding of how we spent a good portion of Tuesday afternoon. :)


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Endocrinologist Part 2

After the taking of blood last week, my results confirm what the regular doctor told me -what?- two months ago? My pituitary is under performing, causing a cascade failure of my endocrine system. Or to put it the way the Endocrinologist's assistant said, "The chemicals in your brain are screwy. They're not working right." We've all known that forever, right? By that description, I think I might be able to get out of felony convictions...hmm.... Anyway, flash back to that last visit with the regular doctor when he said, "A couple of the hormones will come in pill form and the third is either in gel form that gets rubbed into your skin, like on your forearm, or by shot. But the gel should be fine." Guess what? I get the shot. In my hip. The "liquid" has the consistency of syrup. Every two weeks for now. More info in two weeks, when Shannon gets to learn how to give me shots! Yea!